Never Say Never

When I was looking at pre-schools (doing my homework) around the time Calder was 2 or 3, I was visiting the private school Santa Fe School for the Arts and Sciences.  I had heard a great deal about this school from many other Moms.  I decided, at the schools request, to bring Calder so we could see if it was a good environment for him.  We had to go through a few sets of doors to get to the Dragonfly room, a mixed ages classroom of 3-5 year olds.  It was apparent from door one, that Calder was in no way interested in this environment, in fact he was kind of freaking out.  Now in hindsight, I realize he was fixated on the doors and could not go much past them.  As he was sitting in a foyer area, maybe taking off his shoes, I quickly grabbed a peek inside  the classroom in question.  What did I see?  All the little children being corralled from free play into a circle for circle time.  Immediately, I knew this was not for us.  I felt in my heart at the time, that there was no way anyone would be able to get Calder to sit in a circle.  That seems so long ago.  It amazes me how far we've come.  Now Calder is in Kindergarten and his day is full of circles....

Never say never.....

Now, taking a kid with autism to a Mardi Gras parade just seems crazy.  The statistic is 1 kid in every 110 has autism.   I wonder what the statistic is of kids with autism who go to carnival parades...one in about 5,000?  And what then would be the statistic of those kids who actually get through it with some level of enjoyment...one in 10,000?  What is the statistic of parents who can relax enough to enjoy it themselves?  Two in 20,000? Anyway, you see my point. 

Never say never....

Still though I'm not willing to dismiss it.  After all there was a time that I believed Calder would never sit in a circle.  I know a circle is very different than tens of thousands of people screaming "throw me something mister"  while plowing down whole families to get a cheap pair of plastic beads that were made in China. But,

Never say never...

All my life I imagined taking my future kids to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I always thought it was such a fantastic time and wanted so badly to share this with my kid/s. We would skip school, fly down to New Orleans, be with family, go to parades, watch all the marching bands, stand on ladders and catch as many beads as we could, filling up our large brown paper grocery bag. Thats how it was for me.  If I ever go with my kids, I am sure it might look a lot different than when I was a kid.  I can't imagine it yet, without getting a cold sweat and increasing heart rate.  But Calder always suprises me.  He is always eager to hang out at the learning edge.  I've realized that if I say he can't do something, than it is I who is holding him back. So, I'll sit back and wait.  We'll bake a lot of king cakes.  I'll order beads and doubloons on-line and bide the time.   And I will never say never.