Wednesday, August 24, 2011

what this is

So I do sit up at night after the kiddos are tucked away in bed. It is the only quiet time in our home, as many parents would say. For me, this is a place to be during this quiet time.

Tomorrow night I will be attempting to take Calder to his first opera. Since hubby is the TD at the SFO we felt like this was an opportunity not to be missed. We have been preparing for weeks by creating social stories. We even have a huge map of the house seating chart and we can find exactly where we will be sitting. We've arranged to be sitting by ourselves, away from the main cluster of folks. Also hubby has made a condensed, kid size story of the opera we are going to see "The Last Savage". It has drawings made from designer renderings and set draftings. Well see how this goes.

We have learned how to "aim for success". This means if we just get through the parking lot and even to our seat then we have "succeeded". Nevermind actually getting through an entire opera. I know I didn't get through my first opera. We have learned that you just have to let go of expectations. Because that is what they are..."your" expectations, often not representing any reality. This can cause great pain..when you think something should be a certain way and it just isnt going to be. I have learned that I do not get to be the parent I thought I would get to be, instead I am the parent I need to be.

Ever since the moment a child is born we have expectations. It is a natural thing. But as we get to know that child, ASD or not, we find the specifics of a personality. Sometimes our dreams for that child, or for ourselves as a parent, fly out the window. Some more than others.

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